Musings on Abundance vs. Scarcity Mentality

I used to live solidly in scarcity mentality. Romantically, sexually, and professionally. I told myself that being fat, a survivor, herpes+, and openly sexual was enough to preclude me from most people's romantic or sexual interest. 

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Stoner Etiquette and "the Code" - Six Rules

I love stoners. I love stoners the way I love cat people - they just get me. One common thread I've found among stoners is there seems to be a series of unwritten rules, a code of conduct, stoners just kind of understand. The following are my personal rules I've adopted and observed. What are some of yours?


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Hot Steamy Sexy Sex Part II: The Saturday Playdate

In case you missed it, I had a stunningly awesome threesome on Wednesday you can read about here. Before we even got the threesome on the books, B and I had arranged a playdate during his trip to LA. I was lucky enough to fuck him twice in a week! Wooooo! Here are all details on this concupiscent encounter...

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Hot Steamy Sexy Sex Part I - The Threesome

This week was full of firsts for me. A birthday threesome (and my best threesome to date) on Wednesday, followed by four hours of marathon sex on Saturday. Keep a cool beverage handy, you're going to need it.


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New Relationship Energy Exists Beyond Romantic Relationships

Most of the time when New Relationship Energy (NRE) is mentioned, it's in the context of relationships (typically polyamorous relationships). The Poly Glossary on defines NRE as:

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Naming My Rapist: The Aftermath

I remember the heart pounding moment when I hit publish. It was raw, it was scary, and it was 100% the right decision. The soundness of my decision to name my rapist was reinforced repeatedly over the course of that first week. Each day that week (no exaggeration) I had a new email from someone who disclosed that they had also had an experience with Ben. Some were completed rapes, some were attempted rapes. All described unwanted and unwelcome behavior. It was powerful. It was validating--I suspected that if I named him, after the experience I had with Really Brave Person, that more people would come forward. I never expected so many. In total, there were 9, including myself.

*Trigger warning for references to sexual assault, PTSD, and depression. If you're a survivor, please check out my Survivor Resources post for books, sites, and hotlines*

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Survivor Resources

Many folks have reached out to me over the past week to offer support. I am deeply grateful for that. I have also had several folks reach out and disclose their own experiences of sexual violence (completely unrelated to the situation or person I named in this post). I wanted to compile a list of websites, books, hotlines, etc. that I have found helpful over the years not only as I navigated my own healing path but also as I worked as a victim advocate and rape crisis counselor. I'm also including books for non female-identified survivors, a book for survivors of female perpetrators, and a book that is great for partners and allies. If there are other resources that you've found helpful, please list them in the comments.


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Naming My Rapist After 15 Years

Trigger Warning: Discussion of sexual violence, first-person account of rape, rape of minors, bullying. Seriously, take care of yourself. *Edited to add: All updates are at the bottom of this post, identified by date*


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CannaSexual Beginnings

Sex and cannabis have gone hand in hand for centuries. Now you get to read strain and equipment reviews filtered through the lens of a sex educator's experiences.

I moved to California in August 2013 and I got my medical marijuana card in March 2014. I have chronic migraines so I meet the state requirements for a MMJ card. I promptly found a dispensary and started trying strains. Being born and raised on the East Coast, where the only options were "weed" or "no weed," I was excited to get my hands on some renowned California cannabis. 

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How I handle having "the talk" with prospective partners

I used to jokingly refer to having “the talk” with my prospective partners, “dropping the H-bomb.” For me, it was easier to get it out of the way up front—on the first date. 


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CannaSexual Media