Sneak Peek at my Upcoming Guide!

I've been hinting for weeks about my upcoming educational guide and it's almost finished! It's called "A Feminist's Guide to Phone Sex" and it goes live in less than a week! I've been working with Queerie Bradshaw and her recently created Frisky Feminist Press. You can download it on March 13th. Here's a teaser excerpt for you!

The Initial Conversation

So, you’ve decided that you want to try phone sex, but you’re not sure if your partner is on board. It can be difficult to start that conversation, so I always like to default to the line suggested by my friend and colleague, sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko: “I have an idea!” 

This is a great conversation opener, especially when expressed with enthusiasm, because it immediately puts your partner in a positive space. If you start out with, “um, uh, yeah, so there’s this thing, and um, I kinda might want to try it, but only if you’re into it…” you’re not leading with confidence. Start the conversation out on a strong note and know your reasons for wanting to try phone sex in advance. Does it turn you on? Do you think it will enrich your sex life? Knowing your reasons will help you when you want to explain your thinking to your partner. 

What happens if your partner says no?

This is not the end of the world. Take a deep breath, remember they’re not rejecting you as a person, they may just be uncomfortable with phone sex as a concept. Ask informational questions (beginning with “what” and “how”) to ascertain the source of their reluctance. For instance, “what is it about phone sex that feels uncomfortable for you?” Or “how can I be supportive in exploring this edge with you?” This is much more productive than, “Why don’t you ever want to do anything I want to do?”

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