It's time I come out to you, my faithful readers. I smoke pot. I didn't try it until I was in grad school, around age 23, and I smoked intermittently until I moved to California. Suddenly, I had a MMJ card and I could buy, possess, and imbibe it legally.

The first time I walked into a dispensary, I felt like Dorothy landing in Oz. There I stood, awed by the extensive menu of strains, the kind staff members behind the counter, and the plethora of options for imbibing my new medication. I nervously asked what was good, the way I would ask a bartender standing in front of an impressive wall of spirits. The staffer sensed my unease, smiled, and asked, "First time here?"

"First time anywhere," I replied grinning, "you get to pop my cherry."

"We'll be sure to make it a great experience for you," he assured me.

Plus one for the dispensary. Anyone who can appreciate my not-so-subtle sexual humor gets points in my book. I explained that I experienced weekly migraines (sometimes more often) but I needed a strain that would allow me to get work done and focus. I knew from my research that each strain tended to have different properties that would assist with specific symptoms.

"I don't want to get 'couch-lock,'" I explained, using a phrase I'd just learned from reading reviews on Leafly. (Leafly is like Yelp for cannabis--you should check it out.) "But I also don't want to feel anxious. I need a nice balance."

"I can give you some recommendations, but just be aware that each person will have a slightly different experience based on their tolerance and body chemistry," he said, as he selected a strain labeled "Bubblegum Kush" from the bin. It smelled, as the name implied, exactly like bubble gum. "This is great for creativity, pain management, and it can even make you horny!"

That last bit made my decision easy. I paid for the medication and left, noting on my way out that my second visit would have a 10% discount. As you can imagine, this quickly became my favorite dispensary. The laid back staff is a delight, and they definitely know their strains.

I went home that night, packed my bong, and inhaled my first completely legal hit. The staffer wasn't joking--the heady high gave me a creative buzz, eliminated my headache, and increased my libido. As I lay down in bed and retrieved my favorite clitoral vibrator, the We-Vibe Touch, I instantly noticed my body's increased responsiveness to the deep, rumbly vibrations. I'm extra sensitive to tactile stimulation when high, and as I massaged my clit with the vibrator I could feel myself getting much more aroused than usual.

My orgasm came swiftly but lingered, bringing me back to earth slowly. Because I'm on anti-depressants, it can be difficult for me to orgasm at times. When I do get there, it's fantastic, but it can be a slow journey with about a 50/50 chance of orgasm. I say that instead of "success rate" because I don't use orgasm as a benchmark of sexual success. I often enjoy just touching my body with no specific plan in mind, just noting the pleasurable sensations as they arise. Other times, I just want to get off, and when I have the urge and my anti-depressants stand in my way, it can be frustrating. Thankfully there's medical marijuana to counteract those anorgasmic side effects.

My plan is to keep a journal of the strains I'm using and the effects each strain has on my sexual response and orgasm. Stay tuned!