Healing and Empowerment with Sex and Cannabis - Interview with Charlo Greene

CW: Discussion of sexual violence, trauma, PTSD, and anxiety.

I was thrilled to be a guest on The Weed Show with Charlo Greene on January 11th. Here's the interview (queued up). Hope you like it! Let me know what you think either by leaving a comment below or on the YouTube video!

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Rewriting My Trauma Narrative Around Cannabis

Trigger warning: Discussions of sexual violence and trauma. Practice self care.

 

I have to tell you all something. It something that I haven't talked about publicly. But I think it's something relevant, and I'm only now really starting to see it in its totality. I need you all to understand why me talking about sex and cannabis is kind of a huge deal for me.

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Weed Tampons

We need to talk about this “weed tampon” thing. I’ve been watching for months, since Foria Relief launched in February 2016, as news outlets and media sites have gone from excellent coverage like HelloMD modeled, to this abomination of a video from Aura Publishing that makes me want to light the Internet on fire. I’m pretty sure I channeled Anger from Inside Out when I saw this video. It has 12 million views and they’re disseminating blatantly false information: the epitome of lazy, sensationalist journalism.

Please allow me to correct the misinformation:

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What Happens When You're Afraid to Take Up Space?

This post is adapted from a filtered Facebook post I made a few days ago. So many people responded that they'd felt the exact same way at various points in their lives (or at this very moment!) that I realized it should probably go public on the blog. 

This article by Jess Zimmerman hit me right in the fucking feels. I have anxiety around having needs in a relationship (romantic or otherwise), because needs make me needy, and needy people don't stay in other people's lives for very long. If I want to talk to you and you're busy? I feel like I'm bothering you. If I want to hang out and you don't/can't? I'm being annoying. If I'm having big feelings (positive or negative)? I'm a burden.

CW in the article for heteronormativity, but this does track with experiences I've had in cis guy/girl pairings. I'd argue that it also applies to friendships/human relationships in general. 

"The attention whore is every low-maintenance woman’s dark mirror: the void of hunger we fear is hiding beneath our calculated restraint. It doesn’t take much to be considered an attention whore; any manifestation of that deeply natural need to be noticed and attended to is enough. You don’t have to be secretly needy to worry. You just have to be secretly human.

As a child, on an endless restrictive regimen that started when I was four, I was told “if you get used to eating less, you’ll stop being so hungry.” The secret to satiation, to satisfaction, was not to meet or even acknowledge your needs, but to curtail them. We learn the same lesson about our emotional hunger: Want less, and you will always have enough." - Jess Zimmerman

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Cannabis and Penises

A common question I see popping up throughout sex and cannabis posts is the effects of cannabis on erections. I get that it’s a concern, but I’m here to argue that you shouldn’t let it get into your head (so to speak). The science around cannabis and erections is inconclusive at best, with one study suggesting finding, “frequency of cannabis use was unrelated to sexual problems in women but daily use vs. no use was associated with increased reporting among men of an inability to reach orgasm...reaching orgasm too quickly...and too slowly.” The study concluded, “frequent cannabis use is associated with...difficulties in men's ability to orgasm as desired.” Interestingly, another study suggested that cannabis could be used to treat erectile difficulties in people with high cholesterol. In short? The jury is still out, so your mileage may vary.

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Trans Sex and Cannabis

Gender is fluid. There are cisgender people, transgender people, gender nonconforming people, genderqueer people, agender people...the possibilities are endless. You can find a helpful primer on gender terminology on GLAAD’s website. All of these gender identities are normal and should be celebrated, not scorned or shamed.

As Scarleteen, a sexuality resource for teens, explains, “Gender – both how we identify with it and how others identify us through the lens of gender – can also play a part in the way we’ll have any sort of sex, how we present our sexuality to others, how we feel comfortable or uncomfortable in our sexual behaviour and attitudes, and how we might expect the dynamics of our sexual relationships with others to be.”

With that in mind, I sat down with acclaimed adult performer, director, and LGBT/human rights activist Buck Angel to talk about sex for trans men and how cannabis can be helpful.

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Breakups

British musician Sam Palladio once said, “If you break up with a [partner], you’re in this vulnerable state where you’re still kind of half in the relationship with them, but you’re single, and it takes a while to feel solid in yourself again."

 

 

People choose to end relationships for a multitude of reasons. Regardless of the rationale, there is pain. You’ve experienced a loss, and you have to re-create your place in a world that puts a great deal of emphasis on relationships. It doesn’t matter if you were the initiator, the receiver, or the decision was mutual--it’s difficult. Here are my top tips for surviving a breakup. Grab a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and pack a bowl. Full disclosure: I’m currently in the midst of a breakup, so this article is as much for me as it is for all of you.

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Cannabis in the Kitchen: How to Get Flirty with Your Partner Using Food

Sex and cannabis help infuse joy into even the most mundane household activities. This week, we’re focusing on sexy time in the kitchen. Few things bring me as much joy as cooking or baking while baked, and having a partner next to me at the counter makes it even more fun. For making a meal, whipping up a sensual snack, or other food-centric activities, I’d suggest trying creative strains like Jack Herer or Blue Dream, both of which I’ve used successfully for sexy time. You can also check out some active sativas and hybrids or some motivating strains to get the ball rolling.

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Getting Good at Letting Go

This is one of my favorite poems. It is often read at wedding ceremonies. It's from Khalil Gibran On Marriage:

...But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. 

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. 

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

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Cannabis Weddings

Two weeks ago, I attended the Cannabis Wedding Expo in Denver, CO. This event was the first of its kind and showcased the diverse facets of the cannabis wedding industry. I had the distinct privilege of attending as a guest speaker, but mostly I was there to learn. When some folks first hear of cannabis weddings, they gasp in horror at the idea of their conservative relatives being exposed to such things. Others see it as a welcome addition to the pervasive trend of alcohol consumption.

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